Type A personality

So there’s this personality theory that did some things in the 1950s from a couple of pretty smart cardiologist who took the time to pay attention to a tradesmen. The craftsman who was reupholstering the chairs in the Drs’ waiting room told them that it was kinda weird that their chairs were only really worn at the edge of the seats. Drs’ being Drs’ also thought this was strange and got curious to know why. So they did a science.

8 years of study in their waiting room and they were able to theorized that men btwn ages

35-59 with particular personality traits were at 2x as much risk of developing coronary heart disease….

What traits where these that could totally double the risk of death just from personality? Not diet or hereditary. But the mental state. That’s something harder to change than just eat more vegetables and go for walkies…

The Drs asked questions like,” Do you feel guilty if you use spare time to relax?”,”Do you move,walk, and eat rapidly?” I mean…in short that’s how to describe the “type a” personality phenomenon. ( some people call these people Alpha’s or Boss sometimes even Turnt or Bitch)

I don’t stop working.

Because sitting still and watching cartoons ( Sara) feels like a large waste of time when in the same time frame I’ve caught up on real life, done some marketing, done research, had a few phone conversations… I’ve achieved some things.

The problem is I can’t turn it off.

I wake up and have to write down the new screen play, or finish the design build of a major prop,…did I forget to do that thing? Then I have to go thru the notebook that is our life and figure out which one of us did what and what did we miss.

Sigh…

So the Ocum’s razor of Type A personality could be said as “I’m not a Boss Bitch, I’m just a Boss”. I get grumpy sometimes because I probably didn’t sleep or the deadline for a project that’s a year away is eating my soul. My grump factor isn’t usually about a person. It’s about setting high standards for myself in an attempt at effiencney just to make keeping up with life possible. I have 1 spot for my phone and glasses. I have 1 spot for shoes. My dress blacks are in the back of my closet so they don’t accidentely get ruined.

Continuing “research” ,meaning I’m reading a wikipedia article, more modern theory’s attritube this type behavoir to a mentality of the type a people who “deal with reality and have certain defenses when it comes to dealing with problems.”

Versus type b people who play for the game not to win or lose.

that must be a nice feeling.

I guess what i’m trying to say is don’t hate the type a people.

Everyone is just trying their best to deal with life.

Be compassionate.

Sparrow’s Beak

I’m writing because I’m mad as hell. There’s a rumor that one of my favorite peripheral people is considering getting rhinoplasty.

Maybe I’m an ass for assuming it’s because she’s self conscious..but considering she’s a jogger it wouldn’t make sense otherwise.

I hope you buckled up because this rant is a roller coaster..

I’m mad because the woman is a straight up 10. She’s an amazing worker who I call sparrow because she practically flys around her work doing all sorts of things with seemingly no effort. Like it’s just as natural as a bird flapping it’s wings. It’s amazing to see. Legit I wish there were more capable fluid like workers in my peripheral. I can’t help but admire that kind of flow.

It pisses me off that someone who is that capable and that I admire on a professional level would be so self conscious as to mutilate herself for the favorable opinions of society. It seems like an incredibly shallow decision formed from the pressures of the silliness of cosmo and vanity fair.

It’s not fair that the shallow social pressure to physically look like a 10 isn’t based on simple health. It pisses me off that the value she finds in herself is effected by this kind of bullshit.

Sure I get that on the bar scene the tenders get tips based on how they look at times but god dam it the tip system should be based on skill and customer service. What the fuck is wrong with the world and how the hell can it be changed?

Don’t mutilate yourself for physical beauty..instead mutilate that glass ceiling that tell you to do that. Use those god dam wings to prove mainstream beauty standards wrong.

Fuck…

Be the inspiration you need.

When “Okay” Is Not Okay

I suspect that many of us living with mental illness, or other chronic illness, for that matter, have a standard set of responses that we sometimes draw on when answering questions about how we are and what we do. “Not okay” just isn’t something most people want to hear. For me, these standard responses may […]

When “Okay” Is Not Okay

Peaceful Chaos

I saw something really neat today. Amid the cocophany of electronics and instant gratification…

Just sitting outside having a peaceful quiet time…

Are two tall muscular hardcore punk rock men…

Playing chess together.

Sure they have their masks and ordered their drinks or whatever

It was…

Awesome.

Let’s start putting our phones down sometimes and actually hang out together sometimes..

I saw something beautiful last night and you’re probably not gonna understand

Granted….I was about 4-6 levels of fucked up last night when I had these thoughts but…I’m still feeling it ya know?

I ended up at this almost dive bar. Legit the only spot in town that caters to the punk/ska crowd. It was past last call when my friend and I showed up but the barkeep still made us some french fries and got us water. He even included a fist bump in greeting.

That was chill af. legit. My dude gots me.

anyway….

It just so happened to be open mic night and we had crawled in during someone’s very nihilistic stand up comedy set. Sure his set was pretty good. We had some good laughs. The guy who got up after him was great too.

What struck me though was…well…

well…here’s a little background so that maybe you’ll understand a bit better..

A few weeks back the chalkboard covered walls of the bathroom were strewn with political propaganda, cheaters phone numbers, small art, and whatever else came to the patron’s mind I suppose.

It’s a not so small aesthetic that means an incredible amount about what the bar…not the building but the people.. stand for. I’ve always liked the chalkboard walls. Sometimes I even write something small like “<3 yourself” or just draw a smiley face. It’s a small center for free speech.

When I came back out from the chalkboard bathroom last night I had a different appreciation for what I was seeing…

There on the stage was another human just trying to make a connection. When we laughed at his jokes he’d flash a smile and even though he may have been some ska punk kid, a small bit of shared humor made his night.

And that made mine so much better.

I attend the Karaoke nights. I never get up there and sing my heart out….oh no that is our private super secret secret lol

I like to go because other people who are more brave than me get up there and sing their hearts out. And when they get discouraged or finally open their eyes and the fear sets in guess who gets to be right there sipping something too sweet with a huge smile and maybe some clapping or customary “woooo!!”

that’s right. Ya girl puppy.

Thank you humanity for being a bit beautiful with encouragement.