I’m tired…

That “working vacation” had some really good moments..

That ceiling is 350ft high.  Cant hang anything off it either. Bummer.

Catering was delicious every day. I vowed to make kabobs at home. Lol

I made some good contacts, wrote almost another book, rediscovered water painting, and toured the town abit.  I discovered I’d really like to visit again.

While stressful cause my car broke down and I lost a day of work, I got to work with some good people and got hired on with two more companys.


I guess….I get very lonely alot. And that makes me strive to get the approval of those I value in whatever way.

So yeah… I’m awkward. All business. A bitch. A boss. And standoffish asf. And honestly heartbroken.

…for me, for others, for the world. And its times like that trip where I find enough peace, chaos, love,fear,and hate to relight the fire I’ve had all my life…

I’ll keep howling. ❤


I feel incredibly lonely lately.

I can write, art, game, work..I can do all the things but it’s all entirely pointless if I have no one to share with.

What should have been a relaxing working vacation has been nothing more than forced isolation. Sure I’m getting paid well. I even had time and dollars to get some watercolors and charcoal for arts..even played with them a bit..

But there’s no one to share the good food with or talk about why the place has robots or what the significance is of my deja vu happening all over the city…

Our art notebook became something more this trip. The story is amazing to me. It’s so vivid.

Hi…my name is Puppy. And I am lonely.


How and why the demon exists, in it’s own words..

I mean…I cant be angry at the animal when it has needs it doesnt understand…

Apparently those that have met 6 understood on levels I never expected. …in ways I never expected. They urged us,”channel the rage and pain of what happened into something that helps.” “Dont bare your fangs at those who help you.” “Your claws are for protecting those you love.” “Its your mind we like. You’re different enough to change something. Use that power you’ve found and make this world better.”

They took care of us despite the growls, nips, and rips. They did their absolute best with a strange devotion and loyalty that surpasses anything I could ever imagine. For them it wasnt just about preventing murders or helping someone.

It feels like it was more..

Because it was. Somehow…someway the people who found us saw the raw dangerous demon as more than terror. They saw potential I think. Or maybe just some very sad scared child who desperately needed nurturing. Maybe they saw a way to gain forgiveness of their own past transgressions. And there were those who craved the attention. The ones who clung desperately to the power they thought they saw for some sort of meaning…

I cant explain their intentions in what happened or where they are now…

I’m thankful. For whatever it was.