Hiraeth

So We’ve taken a rather long break from producing anything. I can’t apologize for that. We all know, including you, that my mental health is rather strange. I can admit I/we’ve had a breakdown/breakthru??

It’s confusing how that works isn’t it? How sometimes a complete emotional/mental break down can make you feel refreshed and new.

While I’m re-energized I worry the energy I feel has it’s base in fear. Which makes the videos I’m producing ever more important to me.

I’m living in an explorative reality lately. Things just make sense when they shouldn’t. I’m calling clues I find to my past pawprints and I’m genuiely concerned about the stress that is potentially approaching and wondering if I can fully trust the one of us within us that created that past and laid the pawprints.

How many times have I written these exact words? That’s another thing that keeps happening. I recognize things. People acting particular ways that have no other explination than our past being real.

I found this word last night that just…

….I remember writing this word on my hand and waiting for the link to be made. But until last night I could swear I’d never seen or heard this word.

It just…it shook me. As it was supposed to I think. I can’t remember if the word means to fly away or to come home though. And I can’t just ask about the connection because I already feel like the local crazy lady just for saying the name I once held. ….

If the story in my head is true then I am a legend. The responsibility of that scares me but I know that She is a leader capable of being a great leader.

If it’s not then I have no reason to continue.

But the answer doesn’t become clear. It’s been years I’ve wondered and watched the story unfold but there is never a clear answer…..

Author: PuppyPuppy

D.I.D. , writer, stagehand